Monday, October 19, 2009

I feel like ...

OK - so why do I feel like a pair of big pants? Lots of little things really, nothing that bad at all! Firstly, I have been feeling quite homesick, I guess it's to be expected when my mum has just gone home. This homesickness feeling is like a little dog that follows me round all day, no matter how fast I try and run away from it, it manages to keep up with me! (And I think there's a piece of art in there somewhere ...)

I intend to use my 'feeling like pants' day to help me with my next medicine doll tomorrow. The second doll I have to make for my Medicine Doll Course is the Scapegoat doll where I can explore my fears and the shadowy side of my personality. I'm going to look at all the negative self-talk I constantly bombard myself with, and unfortunately I listen to it too much. (I promise you this is all leading somewhere!) For example, I started the day feeling low; later on in the day I went online to check e-mails and to read my favourite blogs. Instead of just enjoying them I started comparing my blog to others, looking at the number of blog visits, coming to the conclusion that I'm not as good as everyone else. Now, I am not whinging and fishing for a sympathy vote - rather I'm coming clean with a confession that I think I have an issue with checking blog statistics for a start! And also confessing that I'm annoying myself with this constant self-sabotage! Maybe if I declare my problem publicly I will be on the journey to overcoming it! Part of the journey is to be able to put all my feelings and emotions experienced in my self-sabotaging behaviour into a doll - it's an immensely powerful experience - I'll be sharing photos of the doll here without a doubt - I feel ready to make the doll now; I've been chickening out of making it for a while!

Now, the next part is that I made a drawing with a visual comment of my feelings about my day - the result being the beautiful big pair of pants at the top of this post! I can tell you I felt so much better and lighter in my mind after drawing the picture - you can see that by the flowers and hearts I added to the pants that I was already feeling more lighthearted. It's positive to see the lighter side of life! More proof that art helps heal I believe.

When I sat down and really thought about it I realized that blogging is important to me simply because I love writing and putting my thoughts down on 'paper'. I do it for me, and blog visits and statistics don't really matter. The other great thing is through blogging I've got to meet some awesome creative people, and I get to share a little of their journey. Check out these sites for inspiration and a dose of sunlight in your day: Violette's folkart site, an awesome whimsical artist; Attic24 for crochet and lovely images; Virtually Sally where you'll find creativity and friendly chat. There are so many, I can't include them all here! Go exploring ...

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