Mostly I try to remain cheerful in my blog, and there does appear to be a trend for blogs to be uber-positive (well so I've been reading out and about on the net!) which is all well and good, but I do think there's also a place for realism. And the reality is that for the past couple of days I've been feeling really, really homesick. I can liken the feeling to being smacked over the head with a very heavy, wet fish ... There I am sailing along quite happily, content with my lot in life, enjoying the environment I'm in when ... wumph ... that darn fish flies up and whacks me on the head!
I suppose I'm writing this for all the people out there who do experience homesickness, and for those doubters who believe that it doesn't really exist. It is a physical feeling of sickness, as well as a spiritual yearning, and for some of us a sense of emptiness at the very root of our soul. This might be all a bit too intense, but I want you to know it's real, you know?
Now that's not to say I'm not happy here, and this is where is gets complicated. I love my home in the Hills, my surrounds are some of the most beautiful I've had the privilege to see and be part of. I'm surrounded by a fantastic group of supportive friends. I'm lucky enough to have friends and family in 3 countries around the world. I can see all the good, but sometimes, I just feel sad, and that the best thing that could fix it is a trip back home to the UK.
|Dark and light ... just like life ...|
Acceptance stops the struggle and allows you space to be. For me I show kindness to myself by taking a walk in the woods, (as I would wherever I live in the world, so it looks as if some things remain the same wherever you are). Or I sit and create, perhaps a quilt that needs finishing as in the pic above :) I give my ruminating old brain something else to think about ...
So, I guess I'm happysad, which isn't really that bad, after all it shows I'm alive and well and experiencing life's wealth of emotions ... and that is good thing :)