To be real or positive? That is the question ...

Mostly I try to remain cheerful in my blog, and there does appear to be a trend for blogs to be uber-positive (well so I've been reading out and about on the net!) which is all well and good, but I do think there's also a place for realism.  And the reality is that for the past couple of days I've been feeling really, really homesick.  I can liken the feeling to being smacked over the head with a very heavy, wet fish ...  There I am sailing along quite happily, content with my lot in life, enjoying the environment I'm in when ... wumph ... that darn fish flies up and whacks me on the head!

I suppose I'm writing this  for all the people out there who do experience homesickness, and for those doubters who believe that it doesn't really exist.  It is a physical feeling of sickness, as well as a spiritual yearning, and for some of us a sense of emptiness at the very root of our soul.  This might be all a bit too intense, but I want you to know it's real, you know?

Now that's not to say I'm not happy here, and this is where is gets complicated.  I love my home in the Hills, my surrounds are some of the most beautiful I've had the privilege to see and be part of.  I'm surrounded by a fantastic group of supportive friends.  I'm lucky enough to have friends and family in 3 countries around the world.  I can see all the good, but sometimes, I just feel sad, and that the best thing that could fix it is a trip back home to the UK. 

Dark and light ... just like life ...

But it's not all doom and gloom ... our ups and downs are a normal rhythm of life ... and that is coming from someone who has at times made downs her normal rhythm of life, so I know what I'm talking about and which rhythm I prefer!  It's OK to be sad and it's OK to be happy - it's more than OK to accept that sometimes life is pants and that it's time to rest and be kind to yourself until the low passes. 

Acceptance stops the struggle and allows you space to be.  For me I show kindness to myself by taking a walk in the woods, (as I would wherever I live in the world, so it looks as if some things remain the same wherever you are).  Or I sit and create, perhaps a quilt that needs finishing as in the pic above :)  I give my ruminating old brain something else to think about ...

So, I guess I'm happysad, which isn't really that bad, after all it shows I'm alive and well and experiencing life's wealth of emotions ... and that is good thing :)